just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize