If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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