i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
it was like eating out sand paper
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
