So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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