Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
