if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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