I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Come on in and take your pants off
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