i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
This is classic penis vs brain.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
