Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
