i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
