do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
