Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
