addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
