I cockslap morals
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
