On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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