i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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