I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
