You can't special order awesome
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
