I need help removing her.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Randomize
