I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
