the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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