Those balls look pretty dangerous.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
