when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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