does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
