So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
