the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
