can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
