Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
