Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
