the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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