just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
