Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
