dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
