I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
