so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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