yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
