summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
