In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
