Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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