Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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