Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
