I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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