you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
