i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
