I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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