I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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