I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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