Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she looked like the before picture.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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