I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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