let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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