Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Randomize
