I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize