You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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