Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
