ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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