You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
