she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
