lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
im drinking this country out of the recession.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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